Blabberings

Being from the social-digital industry I have seen it really take off over the last few years.While more & more people & corporates are talking about it Yet the noise & the questions around 'ROI of Social Media' have also increased.Considering that  some of the best minds of the marketing-brand building fraternity are involved with the medium & a lot of them for some time,why the question & debates remain is in itself quite a dichotomy!
Sharing some of my perspectives:  http://tinyurl.com/6ulktnj  “Mine is bigger than yours, more people ‘like’ it you see!”

ps-Forgive the language,a pure attention grabbing headline but I think in this scenario makes sense :-)

Because today I thought of you more than I have thought of in the last few yrs.Because I realized that for some time your face doesn’t instantly pop into my head,because for some time now I don’t think of you (or anyone else) when I think of love,happiness & future. But yet wanted to tell you that …all in all it was good.Would have probably wanted a different storyline or a better ending (meeting you,being normal & not indifferent once would have been nice).

Yet there could not have been a better ‘falling for someone’ .I did try my best you know..waited for almost 14 yrs,done crazy things like travelling across half the country to just talk to you & then only saying a few sentences,run up std bills on roaming for I don’t know how many years,doing the first unethical thing in my life –make blank calls to your home so that I could listen to your voice(sorry,that was in 9th standard & just a few times),stood outside your house in Noida for 4-5 hrs daily for a few days just in the hope of bumping into you & saying “hey,how are you…long time” (and dragged poor Aumi along), wait & try not be tired of your “will call you back”…etc etc.

Did that because you are a great girl,I did believe that & still do…& I am not the kind to settle or be tired of waiting but now (for the last year or so) realize you are not great enough for all this & finally this time I am ready to move on.

Mam finally just wanted to say,for better or worse you did mean a lot & always will.tc.

saurabh

(a signoff seemed appropriate)

Was trying to contact you for the last yr or so coz I wanted to meet you & tell you some of this face to face; talk as  adults,as friends or even acquaintances over a cup of coffee.Hope you get to read this someday.

Was talking to a friend about work life balance . How I left my job thinking that  I will soon do something to achieve it  but facing the struggles of doing something different & of my own .Overall being nowhere near it yet.

His response :

Friend: Yaar don’t be depressed.You in your own way have achieved work life balance.

Me: ??? (wth look)

Friend: See,earlier your personal & social life sucked..now your work life also sucks. So there is definitely a balance!

“What are friends for”

I have never had role models but individuals who in my viewpoint definitely come in the ‘top-bracket’,the people who I would really respect for one or more reasons.Till this point in my life I would say I can only think of  4-5 people like that & one of them ironically is my ex-boss , Deepak Goel . ‘Ironically’ because a boss is typically someone you are supposed to dislike,who’s a pain in the ass & generally in the case of the advertising agencies a blood sucking soul to some extent or the other !  As a boss Deepak was anything but those.

However the reason I & probably a lot of others respect Deepak is not just because of these qualities,they are other bosses who are warm,friendly & a lot of time best buds with their team.It is basically because he is genuinely a nice guy! He is someone who is always tried to help us out as far as possible,doesn’t loose his temper or use words loosely,is ambitious but hasn’t ever come across as someone who would step over others to achieve his ambition. In this age of competition & dog eat dog world he is one of the few people who seems to believe “let the best man win”.

Deepak has managed to build an organization which is ethical.In the media world where a lot of times it’s about bullshitting your client & finding various ways of cutting your costs ,he is someone who always speaks about adding value. Not to get the project or  serve the bottomline at any cost but where it made sense in the long run for the business.

It’s also not that we have completely agreed on everything , there are lots of things I would have a different perspective on but that’s not the point …a great boss is not about being dictatorial or Mr please all ;it’s probably about being a nice guy,being pretty damn good at your work & having a strong value system which others can look upto .Who gives you space to have a different perspective ,gently reminding you in the end who the boss is .

So boss you definitely come in the ‘top bracket’!

( This was due for some time but it had to go beyond a ‘Linkedin recommendation’ & written at a time when I was no longer working in the system.)

I am averse to the idea of marriage but would definitely like to have kids.*  So while to talking to a friend the other day about books & stuff was just thinking:

“As someone who used to read a lot earlier,what are the books which have impacted me?meant something to me? more importantly what are the books I would like to leave for my kids as a memory of my childhood.”

The names which come to my mind are surprisingly… the ultimate clichés,to be found on a lot of ‘lists’ & deservedly so.

1. Godfather : More than a mafia book it was a book on certain values & beliefs –friendship,commitment,honour,revenge & self belief. A treatise on life defined in the criminal world. Some of my favourite quotes:

  “Never get angry. Never make a threat. Reason with people.”

  “…if I can die saying, "Life is so beautiful," then nothing else is important.If I can believe in myself that much , nothing else matters.”

  “Don't let anybody kid  you. It's all personal, every bit of business. Every piece of shit every man has to eat every day of his life is personal. They call it business. OK. But it's personal as hell.”

2. Love Story: Why do I like this? Well…..it had almost the perfect girl!

Favourite quotes? Nothing I can think of offhand but basically I liked  the character sketch , the conversation between the two &   the hope that women like this do exist.

3. Fountainhead (or even Atlas Shrugged): The first time I read this book in 8th standard I genuinely disliked it.Thick,philosophical with frequent long speeches & worse the hero at times  seemed the bad guy & the villain the  good.

Reread it in 11th & this time I loved it. The book of course hadn’t changed but I could now understand & appreciate what the author was trying to say & with every subsequent read the appreciation has just grown.  A few of my favourite quotes

“Anything may be betrayed, anyone may be forgiven. But not those who lack the courage of their own greatness.

Love is blind, they say; sex is impervious to reason and mocks the power of all philosophers. But, in fact, a person's sexual choice is the result and sum of their fundamental convictions. Tell me what a person finds sexually attractive and I will tell you their entire   philosophy of life. Show me the person they sleep with and I will tell you their valuation of themselves... Love is our response to our highest values -and can be nothing else.”

My philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life,with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute

I started my life with a single absolute: that the world was mine to shape in the image of my highest values and never to be given up to a lesser standard, no matter how long or hard the struggle.”

Tare many others like Freedom at Mindnight,some of Leon Uris or even PG Woodehouse etc which I have liked, adored & had fun reading  but these certainly are the lessons I would like to pass on

*sick minds,there is another way like adoption!!

Image via Wikipedia

http://community.seattletimes.nwsource.com/mobile/?type=story&id=2016456437

A friend living in states sent this article.He was of the opinion that the only way to land among this lot of ‘privileged individuals’ was to either be really brilliant or be really well connected.That’s something I have seen most of us believe & it probably is quite true.As his disappointment showed it’s not possible for more than  99% of us to get there & of  the 1% who land there if they do it because of their contacts …it’s just not fair!!

I agree yet I believe there is another solution which involves changing how companies are organized, better organizations where wealth & ownership is distributed not by right but basis effort.Of course the person who started & has taken the risk gets an advantage but the others who have helped building it are also acknowledged & it’s just not the top hierarchy but across the value chain.It also means flatter organizations than a single hierarchical behemoth.  I believe this could work & somewhere there is a dream to build an organization like that..which is about making money,creating value but also where the employees who work there..enjoy & are rightfully acknowledged for their efforts.

My response to my friend:

I would put the reason slightly differently.
Consider the prefect scenario where there is a supremely ethical boss who's really putting in his best but the company is still not doing well because there are thousands of factors beyond his efforts & perspectives.
The challenge is that he is also the person who decides everyone's compensation (along with the board of course) .When the person leading also becomes the judge of his work the system is bound to mess up especially larger systems since no one knows where things are going wrong.You ask any ethical,intelligent,hard working person in the organization most of them will feel they should be justly rewarded thus better rewarded for their work.Only thing is most of them can't decide it's only the boss who can. And wouldn't most people want to give themselves the reward for their 'good' work especially the boss whose taken 20-30 yrs of his life to reach that place.
In smaller organizations will be lesser since systems are more transparent but may still be there.
And this was the case when  we were looking at a perfect scenario of a great,hard working ,ethical boss. Even Jobs & Zuckerberg believed they deserved much much more than their partners & though all of them were 'bosses', the challenge was the same who decides the amount in an environment where there are no structures except a 'median' & where all the others are hell bent on increasing the median.
Anyway you should read this book 'maverick' by Ricardo Semler .It's about a multi million dollar south American company & his thoughts are interesting.I think a better solution is possible but needs a change in thought process.

Some amazing lines I came across…

“It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithlessand therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”
― Oriah Mountain Dreamer