Blabberings

Because today I thought of you more than I have thought of in the last few yrs.Because I realized that for some time your face doesn’t instantly pop into my head,because for some time now I don’t think of you (or anyone else) when I think of love,happiness & future. But yet wanted to tell you that …all in all it was good.Would have probably wanted a different storyline or a better ending (meeting you,being normal & not indifferent once would have been nice).

Yet there could not have been a better ‘falling for someone’ .I did try my best you know..waited for almost 14 yrs,done crazy things like travelling across half the country to just talk to you & then only saying a few sentences,run up std bills on roaming for I don’t know how many years,doing the first unethical thing in my life –make blank calls to your home so that I could listen to your voice(sorry,that was in 9th standard & just a few times),stood outside your house in Noida for 4-5 hrs daily for a few days just in the hope of bumping into you & saying “hey,how are you…long time” (and dragged poor Aumi along), wait & try not be tired of your “will call you back”…etc etc.

Did that because you are a great girl,I did believe that & still do…& I am not the kind to settle or be tired of waiting but now (for the last year or so) realize you are not great enough for all this & finally this time I am ready to move on.

Mam finally just wanted to say,for better or worse you did mean a lot & always will.tc.

saurabh

(a signoff seemed appropriate)

Was trying to contact you for the last yr or so coz I wanted to meet you & tell you some of this face to face; talk as  adults,as friends or even acquaintances over a cup of coffee.Hope you get to read this someday.